Amateurs

I went to bed Monday night unsure whether I would go to the gym in the AM or not. That always results in not and yesterday was no exception. My alarm went off at 5:40 only to be silenced by my snooze button. After that intense Power class the night before 5:40 was a little too early to be back on the Elliptical. I decided it would be a NO gym day. You know what a NO gym day feels like to me? What a snow day feels like to 5th graders.

Cookie with a side of Jennifer Love Hewitt in a Pool Tube


1/3 Cup Oats, 1 Tbsp Peanut Butter, 3/4 Smashed Banana, 1 Tsp Maca, 2 Tbsp Almond Milk and Cinnamon.

That would be People's 50 Most Amazing Bodies Issue..



My Man calls Zac my bofriend and always accuses me of wanting to watch High School Musical and 17 Again. For the record I have never watched (the entire) High School Musical movie and 17 Again was funny.



20's





30's



40's



You know what's crazy? We all have an IDEAL body in mind (a person or picture you've seen at one point in time) when we're dreaming of being "perfect". You know, the one you're thinking about when you pose naked in front of the mirror. Oh wait, that's just me? Well looking at all these fine ladies from 20 something to 40 something I do not see ONE body that looks the same as another. They are ALL different. All different but all HOT. So next time you go comparing yourself to someone else remember that being hot isn't about trying to achieve someone else's body (because that would be impossible) but rocking YOUR OWN. Besides, that's what Bombshell Bra's are for. I will proudly rock my Bombshell Bra.

The Situation and (judging by the waist circumference of the other men) 8 other SERIOUS (heart) Situations.


If you put the old men together that would make an 8 pack.

Boys, Boys, Boys..


and Vampires.. Bite me..

You know who didn't make the issue? Logan Lerman, who by the way might want to look into changing his name. The boy from the Percy Jackson movie. You know, the underager I drooled over my entire flight to AZ. Is this because he was born in 1992?! That's agism reversed.

Super Salad


The usual. Mahi Mahi Burger, Iceberg Lettuce, Tomato and Cheesy Sauce (2 Tbsp Hummus, 1 Tbsp Nutritional Yeast, 1 Tbsp H20)

Okay so the NO gym day didn't last, I hit the gym for 40 minutes on the Elliptical. I was supposed to have a spray tan/a no gym excuse at 5:30 which was cancelled. The girl working called and informed me that she didn't trust herself to do a good job. When it comes to a spray tan the last thing I'd want is an amateur.

Speaking of amateurs, I took it upon myself to "touch up" my roots last night. That's right, I picked up a box of Garnier Nutrisse and went to town. I was waving that wand around like a fairy god mother, dabble here, dabble there. Do you know what happens when you dabble your own roots? A spotty mess that's what. I immediately called my hairdresser and told her what I had done. I'd imagine clients phoning in a panic after purchasing and applying store bought dye is to hairdressers what emergency patients with household objects stuck in foreign places is to doctors. WHY.. WOULD... YOU... DO... THAT?

Suppa


Is Butternut Squash in or out of season right now? Whatever it is it's GOOD. Apparently I LOVE it at this pale orange stage. It's the perfect flavor and texture. Hummus Sauce on the side of course (3 Tbsp Hummus, 2 Tbsp Water).

Mel came over for a quick visit before I headed to my hairdressers at 9:30, which once I got there didn't end up happening since she accidentally double booked. Damn it. Come to think of it I should have got that amateur spray tan, I could have been a full on spotty leopard. On another note, I Tivo'd The Hills but have yet to watch it. Mel was distracting me.

Before calling it a night I had some Pumpernickle and PB



And then a Multigrain Flatout with Better Buttah


I still can't believe these things have 9 grams of protein.

I woke up at 2:30 and made my way BACK to the Kitchen..



Why so much bread? I don't know..

Rated - C for Cheater

Bachelorette Monday

Justin, Justin, Justin. How many girlfriends do you have?

One?



Two?



Three?



Is anybody else out there?



JUST kidding. It was just a fling.

I bet you’re wondering where I got those pictures from. I Facebook creeped the two of them, I’m not sure what the policy is when taking someone’s personal Facebook picture and posting it on your blog but as you can see I did it anyway. I have two friends in common with the second girl.

So Jessie, who is like a human not here for the right reasons detector, outed Rated-R last night. Perhaps next time Jessie agrees to appear on camera and relay information over the phone she might actually ANSWER the phone. Ring number 26, number 27.. Is anybody HOME?

Justin left with dignitity because…

1) When caught red handed the best way to prove your innocence is by RUNNING AWAY.

2) He tried to make amends by pulling his old, squished, soggy rose out of his pocket and giving it back. That’s sloppy seconds Justin.

3) He fumbled over his words and refused to answer ONE of Ali’s questions. Ali - “Did you tell your girlfriend you wanted to marry her?” Justin – “See umm, it’s not really umm it’s not that simple.” You’re right that is a really complicated question and which girlfriend are you talking about Ali?

4) He’s going back to Canada with less than when he left. His Grandma might still like him, but that’s because she has to.

My new favorite person on The Bachelorette? Jessica. Not only did she call out her two timing EX boyfriend on national television but she went as far as to give them recordings of his phone messages. That’s what happens when you CHEAT.

I'd also like to say something to the producers of The Bachelorette, "Thanks for sharing the REST of the season and ALL of the good parts in the 'scenes for next week', I didn't want to feel any suspense or sense of excitement. Fudge you."

In other Justin news, Justin Bieber's Mom was offered 50,000 dollars to pose topless in Playboy.

So anyway...

I started the day with THIS


1/3 Cup Oats, 1 Tbsp Peanut Butter, 1 Tsp Maca, 3/4 Mashed Banana, 2 Tbsp Almond Milk and Cinnamon.

Lunch Time

Super Salad


Iceberg Lettuce, Tomatoes, Mahi Mahi Burger, Cheesy Sauce (2Tbsp Hummus, 1Tbsp Water).

After work, I headed straight to the gym. I ate my lunch at work so I could leave at 4:00 and do my cardio BEFORE Power class. I miscalculated my time since I was finished my 40 minutes on the elliptical at 10 after 5 and class didn’t start until 5:30. I wandered around the gym aimlessly until about quarter after. Damn it, SO much time. I stood outside the Power room for another 5 and then finally decided to fudge it and do weights on my own.

I’m not going to lie I felt guilty about this since I knew I would never push myself as hard as the class does. Thankfully my Sister got there at 5:30 and looked at me with her judging eyes, “you’re NOT going to power?” Regardless of already having done my chest I thought, “UGH, I’m coming.” Guilt averted.

I got home from the gym and made my SUPPA


Bnut Fries because it was Bachelorette Monday, duh. On the side, 3 Tbsp Hummus with 2 Tbsp Water.

Once my Man and I had finished watching the Bachelorette it was 9:30 and I was ready for a SNACK...



And bed.

I woke up at 11:00 though and had this AGAIN..

Sports

SO let me tell you about yesterday. It started out like every other day. I woke up, headed downstairs, made some breakfast and watched my second Tivo’d episode of Millionaire Matchmaker. Since it was only 7:00 o’clock and I was up, thanks to Bailey, I figured Ride at 9:30 would be no problem. I mean I had plenty of time to lounge around until then.

Breakfast


Ezekiel English Muffin, 1 Egg (it was the last one) and 3 Egg White (poor substitution) and Ketchup.

Around 9:00 I left for the gym. I also remembered to put my sneakers (love that word) on BEFORE going inside. Why? Because last time I wore sandals I left them behind, all alone on the shoe rack as I exited in my sneakers. When I went back to get them later (okay 2 weeks later) I found out they had been shipped to Africa. Apparently, front desk lady watches the shoes like a hawk and anything left behind for longer than a couple days gets packed up and shipped. I suppose it makes sense, if you can go days without those shoes you probably don’t NEED them. Anyway, I wish I would have known so I could have at least sent a note.

“Dear African Child,

I hope you enjoy these American Eagle flip flops. If you like them, I have all kinds of shoes I can leave at the gym for you. Runners, high heels, wedges etc. Just let me know.

Sincerely, B”

Moving alone, Ride class was rather intense. I do not know whether it was due to the fact that no one had turned the fans on at the front of the class, or whether it was because someone obviously mistook the heat for the AC when adjusting Gold’s Gym thermostat, OR last but not least the woman beside me was radiating like a heat lamp. Whatever the reason was it was fudging HOT, I was fudging SWEATING and it was a fudging premonition of what was to follow for the rest of my day.

If I didn’t know any better I’d say that my Man and I currently have this unspoken agreement not to turn the AC on. The Condo Castle thermostat currently hovers around 25.5 Degrees. I continue to NOT adjust it and he continues to NOT adjust it. Meanwhile we both, or at least I, suffer in silence. Anyway, around lunch time I decided to get a Pita AGAIN.



Thankfully this one wasn’t very good. It was lacking in the Hummus department. This is blessing in disguise because at least now I will be over them for a while.

Within seconds of finishing that I grabbed these three things and brought them over to the couch..


Honey, PB and Kashi Crackers. I needed something sweet.

Yesterday I literally ate like it was a sport. Not only was it a sport but it was a sport I was playing at Olympic caliber. Had anyone witnessed my entire day/night of eating one might assume that I was pregnant with quadruplets and eating for 5. This tends to happen when I’m completely bored. I even made an attempt not to be so bored and rented two discs of True Blood. Unfortunately, I managed to rent an entire disc full of episodes I’d already seen. Shocking. Anyway, they were not holding my attention and I can only read books for so long.



The only thing that seemed to hold my attention was food.

Amy’s Burrito


This burrito gave me a major hot flash. When I finished this I was ready to tear my clothes off of my body and streak through the Condo Castle naked.

Flat Out


With Better Butter. I had two in total.

Around 5:00 my Man and I decided to rent The Book of Eli. By the way if someone could remind me to return that by tomorrow at noon that would be greatly appreciated. I need to stay on good terms with Blockbuster since my relationship with Rogers Video has been tarnished. Apparently, if you keep you a movie too long they will send you what appears to be a friendly letter (it’s NOT) stating that if you do not return the movie by said date it will then be sent to a collections agency.

I took THIS downstairs with me...


One Frozen Banana tossed in the food processor with a splash of Almond Milk = Banana Ice Cream. I then topped it with some PB, M&M's and crumbled Kashi Crackers. YUM.

Anyway, I enjoyed the movie and discovered that I have a major girl crush on Mila Kunis. In a game of Who’d You Rather? if I had to choose between Denzel Washington and Mila Kunis I’d choose Mila.

The most disturbing part about this next snack is that in order to have the Almost Empty PB Jar, in which the cereal is residing, I had to eat remaining Peanut Butter with this combo..


"Okay, just a few more crackers with Pb and Honey and then it should be Almost Empty."

Almost Empty PB


Almond Milk, Oaty Bites, Bran Buds and Cinnamon.

After supper or snack number 17, my Man and I watched Dateline NBC. Now if that doesn’t make us sound like an old couple then I’m not sure what does. We watched Dateline NBC in the sweltering heat of the Condo Castle because we’re saving money via no AC. That rounds us out at about 45 years old at least.

We called it a night around 10:00 because it was getting late and we both had to work in the morning. As we crawled into bed our age increased one year, 46 years old. We are a 46 year old couple.

PS I don't even KNOW where these fit in but at some point I also snacked on THESE. It's alright you can judge.



PPS I added a Grocery List Page, Check it.

PPPS If eating were in fact a sport, I won yesterday AND took home player of the game.

Girls Day

I woke up yesterday to the sound of my phone ringing. It was my Mom calling to ask if I wanted to have a girls day, which would consist of lunch and shopping. Basically my favorite kind of day. Obviously my answer was, YES. Since I was up I headed downstairs to whip up some breakfast, make coffee and watched Millionaire Matchmaker.

Breakfast


One Ezekiel English Muffin, Two Eggs, Cup of Coffee and a side of Ketchup. Totally hit the spot.

I spent the rest of the morning cleaning. Yes you read that right, I said cleaning. I tackled the mess that is our spare bedroom. I came out with a runny nose and my breathing was more like a wheez. If that's not a sign of messy room then I don't know what is. The good news is that I can now see the floor.

Around noon my Sister picked me up and we headed to The Creek Bistro in Cathedral with my Mom and Grandma.

Cruising in the back seat..



The Creek Bistro


Cute isn't it?

After scanning the VERY small but delicious looking menu I ordered the Mushroom, Spinach and Goat Cheese Quesadilla (easy on the cheese).


It was AH-MAY-ZING.

After lunch we headed to Alfreds to go furniture shopping for my Sister. I am not sure what it is about furniture stores but I find that from the moment I walk in to the moment I leave I am bored. I think this is something that stems from my childhood. I have way too many memories of wandering around The Brick with my Dad. However, I do remember getting a hot dogs out of the deal on the special BBQ in the parking lot Saturdays. Thankfully my Grandma and I found a candy dish in one of the show rooms. The rest of time in Alfreds was spent doing laps and grabbing mints. I have a feeling this is also something that stems from my childhood. At some point I decided to take pictures of all of the settings I liked...









I have a thing for animal print. My Sister later filled me in that taking pictures in furniture stores is frowned upon. It didn't stop me though...

Hi Mom and Grandma



Before calling it a day the 4 of us went to a Bakery called Koko (on Broad Street) and picked up a few treats. My Mom bought an assortment of cookies so we each sampled a couple.


It looks like I have a glowing alien hand. That's misleading.

When I got home I did some MORE cleaning. This time I tackled our bedroom. I suppose I should clarify what I mean by cleaning. What I mean is, picking up the clothes in the spare room and master bedroom. I have to clean before I clean. I figure the ACTUAL cleaning, dusting, vacuuming will take place sometime this week. That is if I get to it before it's messy again. It's a vicious cycle.

After I finished picking up, my Mom called and asked if I could pick Bailey up from their house. I got my walking shoes on (flip flops) and headed out the door with her leash in hand. I would walk over there and then walk her home, I thought. Turns out I defeated the purpose when I got there and then asked my Dad to give us a ride back. Sorry Mom.

Suppa


You would think Extreme Pita was sponsoring my weekend. I got the usual Regular Whole Wheat with Hummus, Mushrooms, Onions, Pickles, Black Olives, Tomatoes, Lettuce, Mustard and Cuc.

Apparently that wasn't enough so I decided to snack on this dangerous combo...


It's dangerous because once I start I can't stop eating it. No seriously, I can't.

Kind of like this..


With Better Buttter.

Which is why I had to have two..



Somewhere in between all that snacking my Man and I watched Saturday Night Live. Actually he slept and I watched Saturday Night Live. It was a re-run but it must have been my lucky night because I had not seen it and the host was Taylor Lautner. I've now decided that I can't choose between Team Edward or Team Jacob. Instead I'm going to bat for both teams, swing both ways etc. Besides you can't compare Werewolves to Vampires. That's like comparing Apples to Oranges. I'll have my Edward and Jacob too.

Grubby Little Hands

Happy Saturday!!

Yesterday I started off, "Thank God It's Friday", with one of THESE..


Almond Butter, Oats, 3/4 Banana, 1 Tsp Maca Powder, Cinnamon and 2-3 Tbsp Almond Milk.

Absolutely nothing exciting happened between breakfast and lunch. Unless you'd like a quick tutorial in Accounting. I'd be happy to share what I know. No? Okay.

Lunch Time

Super Salad AGAIN


Mahi Mahi Burger, Icerberg Lettuce, Tomatoes and Cheesy Sauce (2 Tbsp Hummus, 1 Tbsp Nutritional Yeast, 1 Tbsp Water).

I'm still on the no added Salt, which makes this lunch particularly good. The Mahi Mahi is pretty salty so I get my fix. Speaking of Salt, my Man went to use the Salt shaker at lunch the day before and was quickly disgusted. He took one look at it and threatened to take a picture, post it on my blog and write, "This is why she had to give up Salt". My Man always accuses me of touching everything with my grubby little hands. Well if there was an investigation on whether this was true or not the Salt shaker would be the key piece of evidence. Guilty. Case closed.

I also stuck my grubby little hands in both of THESE boxes...



From work I headed straight to the gym for the Friday Double Header, Ride and then Power. Also known as death and then actual death. Looking back now i'm happy I was forced into doing both. However, at the time I hated everyone involved in the circumstances that lead me there. See, my Man and I drove to work together with plans of getting both cars at lunch. However, he ended up going out for lunch with my Dad (lucky) so when the end of the day rolled around we only had one vehicle. This mean't that if I wanted to attend one class I had to catch a ride to and FROM the gym with my super fit Sister. She was doing Ride and then Power. So I HAD to do Ride and then Power. Or Ride and then sit in the lobby but I figured that might be embarrassing.

I got home from the gym and guess who came over...

MEL!!!



If we were Turtles this would be us...



We got things started in a hurry...





JUST Kidding..

We picked up some Suppa and spent the night hanging out in the Condo Castle.

PITAS for Suppa


Regular Veggie on Whole Wheat with lotsa Hummus, Black Olives, Lettuce, Tomatoes, Cucs, Mushrooms and Onions.

Before bed I had a Multigrain Flatout with Better Buttah



I enjoyed the first one so much I didn't want the fun to stop...



Then I woke up at 2:00am and had THIS



I heart CARBS and FAT.