It’s Monday. Are you all jumping for joy shouting, “it’s fudging Monday WOOOOO. Work? Bring it." That’s what I thought.
So yesterday I had a fitting with a Ukrainian wedding dress designer for an upcoming fashion show this week. Aside from the fitting I had a few things on the agenda for the day. A tan, 35 minutes of booty shaking, lunch and family supper. In attempt to organize my day I decided on THIS order of business.. Gym at 10:30, tan at 11:30, fitting at noon, lunch, lay on the couch, family supper, lay on the couch.
When I pulled up to my fitting I was happy to see that I was the first girl there. Perfect. I’ll try my dress on quickly and be on my way. So far my day was going exactly as planned. So there I was standing in my dress while the designer pinned everything in place. While this was going on my agent was becoming increasingly annoying as she spoke to the designer IN English with the addition of a Ukrainian accent. I’m confused when did you acquire a Ukrainian accent? And how is this helping? You might as well be yelling at a deaf person, you’d look just as stupid.
After what felt like forever I finally I heard the word I was waiting for, “NEXT”. Immediately I began to undo my dress when I was interrupted by a few words I was NOT waiting to hear. “No, no. Keep on. All girls in dresses.” Then my agent, continuing to be so helpful translated the designers broken English for me by repeating the same the thing with the same accent. Well thank you. Now I understand.
As I stood there waiting for her to fit all the other girls I rolled my eyes, leaned on the table beside me, took loud breaths, hoping that these we’re all international signs for “annoyed, let me leave.” Cleary I was in the middle of executing a faulty plan. Gym, then tan, then fitting, THEN lunch was a bad idea. I was now hungry and angry.
I was a hangry model..
Source
I was also fully aware that if I were a contestant on America’s Next Top Model I would be the next one eliminated for having a bad attitude. But this was not America’s Next Top Model and I was working for free. For FREE.
Finally the four of us girls were all in our dresses. The end. I started to undo my dress again when I was interrupted for the second time. “No, no. Need to finish pinning that one.” WHAT? How do you say, “I’m fudging out of here,” in Ukrainian? I feel like the word pinning was lost in translation because what she actually meant to say was I need to finish making the dress while she stands in it. Hangry, I considered saying I quit right then and there but then I realized I’d have to follow up “I quit” with “now can you help me take this dress off?”
At this point all the other girls were gone (so much for being first) and I was left standing there for an extra 40 minutes. The entire time all I could think about was driving to the mall, walking into the Bay, stripping down a mannequin, throwing it over my shoulder, walking out and driving back to her house. What are you looking at? Can't a girl shop with her naked friend?
“Here is mannequin. I not stand here all day. You suck. ”
Now as far as the cleanse goes, everything is just peachy. I've been enjoying a few too many (well some would say) late night Rice Cakes with Earth Balance Buttah.. like Kris Carr.. I however, think I needed them.. Besides I'm not adhering to the "stop eating 3 hours before bed" anyway. Now that the weekends over I'll try to get back to the NOT waking up for snacks, but I can't make any promises.
I've been enjoying LOTS of these things..
This Veggie Bowl is filled with Bnut Squash, Cauliflower and Cabbage. All steamed and topped with Mushroom and Sage Olive Oil and some Miso.
Welp that's all I got at the moment. I also have another fitting this morning with a different designer. I can't wait. Happy Monday!!
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