If I had...

If I had a penny for every time someone said that THEY wished they had been the one to give Michelle her black eye.. I would have 30 cents.. And then I would go buy six 5 cent candies from 7-Eleven.


Source

I wonder how you get a "stress black eye" anyway.. Personally I think it has more to do with her newly acquired freedom of movement while sleeping. In the pyschiatric hospital she was strapped to the bed at night.

If I had 5 cents for every time Brad used the words "so badly", I would have 2 dollars.. And then I would buy a coffee and a donut at Tim Hortons..

"I so badly want to get to know you Meghan. I mean that. I hope you'll at least give me a chance to do that." -- before I send you home in 10 minutes at the next rose ceremony that is, make it quick.


Source

If I had a 10 cents for tear shed on last nights episode of the Bachelor, I would cash them in for a five dollar bill.. And then I'd use that five dollar bill to tip my waitress at dinner tonight.


Source

If I had a quarter for all the times that Stacey kicked herself for admitting she cheated, I would have 10 dollars.. And then I would use that 10 dollars to buy myself more coffee mugs.. I love coffee mugs..

"Cheater, I mean, Stacey.. Will you accept this.. Crap I'm out.."


Source

If I had a dollar for every time Ashley H accidentally showed her crazy last night, I would have 15 dollars.. And then I'd put that 15 dollars towards getting my teeth as white as hers..


Source

If I had a 20 dollar bill for everytime a Bachelor bearing gifts has pulled a woman aside, set up a picnic and shared a glass of wine infront of all the other bachelorettes, I would have 20 dollars.. And then I'd take that 20 dollars and bet someone that Brad wants to marry Emily..


Source