Caption THIS

BACHELORETTE Monday Highlights

I took my own captions again. Your welcome. If you look really close, or in some if you just look at all you'll see me lurking in the corner of the screen concentrating on getting the perfect shot. It's like "Where's Waldo?" only I'm wearing pink.

1. Kasey's Poem

It's still not clear whether Kasey was speaking Icelandic or his native language of Jiberish.

2. I don't think words are necessary...









4. Chris N.'s alone time with Ali. When Ali asked what he thought his best quality was he answered completely monotone, "Ummm my longtime girlfriend would say, 'Omigosh you're so funny'." followed by a blank stare and awkward silence. I felt awkward just looking at my TV.



5. Craig R. gets some serious points for his Kasey Tattoo. That sh** was funny. However, I don't know about you Ali, but when I describe a guy as "awesome" I'm usually talking about a friend.





6. Rated R wore his True Religions AGAIN. My Man would really like to know whether he has 7 pairs of the same jeans or if those are in fact just the same jeans.. It's killing him.

7. Kirk played the old, "I inhaled mold for a year and screwed up my nervous system card." Pfff like we HAVEN'T heard that one before KIRK.





8. Next time i'm trying to be sexy for my Man i'm going to don a full-on snow suit and then strip down to my bathing suit with a pull of a zipper. Hopefully he'll have a similar reaction to that of Roberto.



9. How about the preview for NEXT week. My Man and I watched the alleged "gilfriend haver" in slow-mo at LEAST 7 times trying to figure out WHO it is. I also tried to figure out what kind of girl would allow their boyfriend to apply for the Bachelorette. I mean I like to think i'm a cool girlfriend but really. I hope she at least sent a tape into the Bachelor. Fair's fair.

Moving along..

I woke up yesterday morning to sunshine, the soothing sound of BB groves interlude (my alarm) and the exciting thrill of Bachelorette Monday. All this positivity was quickly ruined by one word, NO. I quickly remembered my vow to have NO Cinnamon Swirl, NO salt and NO mindless snacking. Was I high? I opened my mouth and in one fell swoop (aka one long sentence) I rid myself of my 3 favorite things. No big deal, I can do THIS. Bring it.

I cheered myself up with something I CAN have..


YES. 1/3 Cup Regular Oats, 1 Tbsp Peanut Butter, ¾ Smashed Banana, 2-3 Tbsp Almond Milk, 1 Tsp Maca Powder and free handed Cinnamon.

Before going to work and eating my YES Cookie I threw out the rest of my Cinnamon Swirl PB. I know what you’re thinking, “how could you? There are starving kids in Africa and you are throwing out food.” Yes, yes I am. It could not be trusted. It’s always trying to lure me over to the other side (of the cupboard) and then one thing leads to another etc. Plus I think it would be unsanitary for the food bank to accept half eaten food. It had to go.

Work was work was work. However, I did find myself slightly entertained while entering the service technician’s meal receipts. Apparently the spelling of the town Assiniboia is left up to the personal discretion of each individual resident. For instance, 121 Steakhouse spell’s it Assinoboia, Nash’s restaurant prefers Assinibola and Southland Coop figures it should be Assinibois, SK. I also enjoyed the names of some of the restaurants they dined in like Crusty’s Restaurant. Apparently their special is pizza. I don’t know about you but when I hear the word crusty the last thing I think of is a pizza crust.

Lunch Time

Since I couldn’t have any added salt I figured I should take a couple days off of the food that I usually add inappropriate amounts too. That left me with nothing. See, I’d assume that if I dove into Butternut Squash fries today they might taste naked and bland. However, if I don’t have them for a while I could possibly trick myself, “No salt? Are you kidding? These are SO good!”

You know what I don’t add salt to? Smoothies.


3 Cups of Spinach, 1 Cup of Almond Milk, 1 Scoop of Chocolate All Natural Whey Gourmet, 4 pieces of Honey Dew, 1 Tsp of Xantham Gum and Cinnamon. I blended it all up in my food processor since I doubt the magic bullet can house this much volume.

I served it in a bowl with a spoon…


That’s because I don’t like drinking my meals. I thought I wouldn’t be satisfied by this but to be honest I was. The Xantham gum made it thick and soup like. I was full.

After work I headed straight to the gym for Power followed by 40 minutes of cardio on my own. Operation Kick-my-own-Butt was in full swing. So somewhere about half way through Power class it was time for the tricep track. Now I hate this track because somewhere throughout the song the instructor makes you put the bar down and do tricep pushups. I cannot do tricep pushups. I actually cannot do A tricep pushup. So instead I decided to make up my own routine for this part (I have a tendency to do this during the ab track as well). I did dips, because dips I can do. Next thing you know my dips started to catch on. I looked down my row to see one girl get up off the floor and join me on her bench. YES, slakers UNITE.

When I got home from the gym I decided to try out my NEW Spirulina. Since it has 4 grams of protein per Tbsp and is a green superfood I figured why not get my protein by having 2 Tbsp of this? SO I mixed 2 Tbsp, water and blended it in the magic bullet. I have three words for you. Never.. Do... This..


I chugged this, but lets never speak of it again.

For supper I was sneaky and since I am fully aware that I associate fun with food and food with TV I made myself a SUPPER COOKIE in the morning. Come on now, I can’t watch the Bachelorette while eating a salad. That would be both boring and sad. I thought about having Oatbran but when it’s warm/humid outside and I’m less inclined to want HOT food.

Breakfast for Supper Cookie



Before calling it a night I thought about having a snack. I also thought about picking the Cinnamon Swirl Peanut Butter out the garbage. The former didn’t happen because I wasn’t sure what I wanted to have and the latter didn’t happen because like I said I’m TRYING.. and because that would be gross.. of course..

I did however wake up 1:00am and have Pumpernickle

with ONE Tbsp of Peanut Butter.

One last thing, remember when I said I wasn’t going to have that small list of things for two weeks? Well since Canada Day is next week and I will likely drink the night before I thought I should correct the length of time and say 10 days. The last thing you want to do is try and remember self imposed rules while drinking vodka.

Question of the day: Who do YOU think the Bachelor with the girlfriend is?!? My guess is Rated R. He's the only one constantly referring to winning, roses, himself in third person and wrestling matches.