Habs then Gabs

FINALLY Blogger let me post. I've been trying to post all day and it kept telling me that Blogger was "temporarily unavailable". What does that even mean? I like to imagine it was off boozing with Wordpress.

Saturday Morning I woke up and my usual…



My Man and I had reflexology appointments and mine was first at 9:00am so I was up bright and early. A foot rub is not a bad way to start off your weekend. I can safely call it a foot rub after months of pure torture. She has worked on my feet enough that it finally no longer hurts. When my appointment was done my Reflexologist sent me home with a bag full of fish. She fishes on the weekends and knowing how much I like it and assuming I’m housing dozens of hungry homeless people in my Condo Castle she sent me home with a GIANT bag full.
Around noon my Man and I headed over to my Sister’s house so he could help them with their landscaping aka hauling dirt. I watched for a while, got bored and drove home for THESE.


More Cheesy Bnut Fries. Cheese Sauce – 2 Tbsp Hummus, 1 Tbsp Nutritional Yeast and 1 Tbsp Water.

The rest of the afternoon was spent watching Millionaire Matchmaker, watching more Landscaping (sigh) and then getting ready for my girls night out on the town.
We started the night off at the condo castle where I played Bartender and made up a few “healthy” drinks. There’s nothing healthy about vodka or its affects BUT the mixes can be. First I made Mel and I each a Café V.


1 Shot of Vodka, ¼ cup of Coffee, ¼ Cup of Almond Milk, 4-5 drops of Dark Chocolate Stevia and lotsa ICE.

I pulled out every almost empty bottle of Vodka from my cupboard. I figured everyone should have their choice.. Grey Goose, various Smirnoff bottles, Sky etc..



Once Lex arrived I busted out the Vitamin Martini’s…


1 Shot of Vodka, Ice and the rest Vitamin Water of choice.

Lex also came bearing gifts. Although my birthday was over a month ago, she brought me FLOWERS AND A BIRTHDAY CARD.



Around 8:00 o’clock my Man drove us to Earls where we were having supper and MORE drinks. Lex and I both ordered the Salmon and Tuna rolls (to DIE for) and after forgetting to snap a pick, Lex rearranged our plates (sucha good friend) for this blurry pic.







We washed our sushi down with Vodka Waters and good conversation. Ten thirty came out of nowhere and it was time to head to the bar (Habanos then Gabbos). The rest of the night was SO fun. The bar was filled with so many people we knew; it was if we had handpicked those in attendance. There was only one minor glitch. Do you have any enemies from high school? I do. It’s kind of a one sided thing since I could care less, but these girls HATE me. We didn’t go to the same high school so it was kind of like a battle of popularity with the boys at that time. To be honest I was kind of excited about the entertainment aspect this would bring to the evening. As we were busting moves on the dance floor, the two of them and their entourage were STARING us down while dancing in THEIR circle.

Lex, being the observant one announced, “I think they’re trying to have a dance off with us.” Since I only like winning and being judged by panels of judges, specifically in my bathing suit and evening gown, I decided against participating. So You Think You Can Dance Canada would have to wait until another night, a night with judges and video cameras. At one point, Medusa (this is not her name, but it seems fitting) walked past me shoulder checking me and bumping my purse. Again, I refrained from participating; I was never very good with children. The one thing I do know about little kids though is that in order to stop bad behavior you need to stop paying attention to them.







Around 2:00 o’clock and between vodka waters, Lex and I had a conversation.

Me – “Are you hungry?”

Lex – “YES, are you?”

Me – “YES, let’s go get FOOD.”

Lex - “SAP” (that’s soon as possible people)

We left Mel at the bar because she's hot and single and was surrounded by boys. It was like watching one of those Mosquito Catchers, luring in its next victim with its shinny light and then.. ZAP. Lex and I got outside the bar and decided that we’d go to the only place that was open, Humpty’s. Half way there we hailed a cab and pissed him off by asking him to drive us to Humpty’s. The ride cost a total of 2 dollars. What? We were wearing heels, everything seemed far.



We practically licked our plates clean and then called the same Cabby to come back and pick us up. First, we dropped Lex off since she lived the closest. Once we got to Lex’s house I decided that I was still hungry. So I made a proposition to the cab driver and soon to be friend, “Okay, so I have 35 dollars. Do you think that would be enough money to drive to a McDonalds, buy me fries and take me all the way home?” He thought this was funny and turned off the meter. We chatted the whole way there and I learned that he used to live in Hong Kong, Edmonton, Korea; he plans on one day opening a cell phone store and running his own business. I also learned that lots of people ditch out on paying. I told him I was looking to make some quick cash on the side and If he needed a Friday/Saturday henchmen I’d be happy to ride around with him. I’d also take payment in the form of Mcd’s.

As we rounded the corner I was greeted with the familiar glow of the Mcd’s menu and thoughts of McDonalds Happy Meals danced in my head. These thoughts were quickly interrupted when I realized that all of the meals I USED to get were chicken.. McChicken Meal, Crispy Chicken Meal, 6 piece McNugget Meal.. Crap, I could ONLY get a supersize fries with Mayo for dipping (sick I know). For a second I considered the fact that it WAS McDonalds and the chances of any of those McChicken meals actually containing chicken meat were slim to none, but for the first time EVER in my drunken stupor I decided it was probably better to be safe than sorry.

My… Fries… Were… FANTASTIC. Just ask the cabby. I shared with him, but only a couple. When we finally rolled up to the Condo Castle I stumbled inside, sat at the table, finished my fries and then headed up stairs to pass out. As I tossed the empty fry container in the garbage I noticed a familiar outline of information on the back. It was the Nutritional Stats. Say what? How drunk am I? On what planet is it okay to put the nutritional value on a McDonald’s item? and on the back no less? That’s like McDonalds’ flipping you off as you throw out the remains/evidence of your meal. You just ate this supersized fries, Nutritional Stats – 100 grams of death HA.

When I got up to bed I woke my Man up and started giving him an unwelcomed rundown of my night. Luckily I trailed off somewhere around, “from Earls we went to….”
Yesterday, after that night of drinking and eating I decided I should probably treat my body like a temple and recover. JUST kidding. After a night of drinking I treated my body like a garbage disposal and inhaled greasy, salty and sweet foods. I made a breakfast cookie after eating a few handfuls of Cheddar Kettle Chips.


Eww do not eat a breakfast cookie when hungover. I polished it off and spiraled into a deeper hangover.

Next I picked Mel up for a lunch date and a recap of our night. We hit up Moxies and started with an order of my fav, Med Bread.



I followed this up with the Salmon on Naan and Sweet Potato Fries.



Finished all of that and feeling OFFICIALLY hung over, I spent the rest of afternoon lounging around on the couch. Rolling over was about the extent of my exercise. The only other thing worth noting yesterday was that I continued to eat almost continuously AND I watched the MTV Movie Awards. I decided to take my own Screen Captures of the event. I get everyone from their best angle...





I'd hang with these guys..



Katy Perry you have really big..





And my absolute favorite..



Some of my unpictured eats include Vitamuffins, English Muffins, Peanut Butter, Stacy’s Pita Chips, Potatoes, more Kettle Chips, Bran Buds Cereal, Dates and PB and Rice Chips. That’s what I can remember anyway. Hangovers are a free for all.