Plane Rides

Yesterday I woke up in a panic. First, I had to eat...



Then I had to run around the AZ house cleaning toilets, washing sheets, towels, throwing out garbage, throwing out food while the voice inside my head yelled "What about the starving kids in Africa, they don't even HAVE hummus", picking up all my clothes lying around the house I had already forgotten to pack. By the looks of it I must have changed outfits at least once in every room in the house. Since I HATE cleaning I pretended I was competing in the 10 second clean up like loonette from the Big Comfy Couch.



Who by the way is actually hot



When I finished I rewarded myself by driving all the way to Fry's grocery store for THIS


I had an hour to kill before we left for the airport and what better way to fill my time than eating this whole quarter of a melon.

Brian came to pick us up at 10:30 and upon lifting my suitcase into the back of his Van he announced that it was WAY too heavy. After telling him, no I did not have another bag, he called his wife and told her to bring one outside. We pulled over at there house so I could take the bag and unload some of my suitcase into it. Little did I know I was going to have an audience. Carol, Brian and my Man all hovered over me while I made the exchange. Thongs and lace panties flying out left and right, why is it that they always attach themselves to bigger articles of clothing? Jars of Naturally More Peanut Butter. Not to mention my Jessica Simpson Hair piece. Carol probably thought I beheaded someone and was taking it home as a souvenir. What? I didn't see body parts as a no on the customs list.

Wikipedia's Definition of BOREDOM...

"Boredom is an emotional state experienced during periods lacking activity or when individuals are uninterested in the opportunities surrounding them."

My Definition of BOREDOM...

"Boredom is an emotional state experienced during periods lacking activity when individulas become interested in the opportunites for food surrounding them."

My boredom set in the moment my butt hit the terminal seat. We weren't boarding our plane for at least another hour and I was already busting out my plane snacks.


Whole Wheat Sandwich Thin with 4 Smushed Balls (mmm..) and Hummus. HEAVENLY. You know what I hate about Sanwiches? I hate that I eat them in under 3 seconds. It's SO good for those 3 seconds and then It's just gone, no cuddling or anything. I always feel so violated.

I pulled out my book and tried to distract myself with literature until it was time to get on the plane. Once I was on the plane I spent the first 20 minutes trying to decide what movie I would buy. The winner, Shutter Island. It was the only one I hadn't seen. I would have rented Percy Jackson and The Olympians, but I didn't need my Man judging both my movie choice and what I was about to do next.

I pulled out THIS Mojo bar. Obviously this is an old picture, I was shy infront of the girl next to me.



This wasn't enough. You know that saying "Money burns holes in my pocket"? Well food burns holes in my purse. I really like my purse SO.....


I almost immediately pulled this out. Again, yes this is the same picture above only the inside of this Sandwich Thin is a Tbsp of Naturally More Peanut Butter.

I drifted off into a food coma while watching Shutter Island. I was abruptly woken up by a scream in my movie and practically jumped out of my seat throwing my arms out to the side. I JUST missed slapping the girl beside me, however, I did make contact with my Man who was also asleep. He didn't even budge.

We landed in Calgary around 5 o'clock which obviously meant one thing, Supper Time. I let my Man choose the restaurant since I was too full to decipher what I actually felt like. He chose Kelseys. My Man asked if I wanted to start with an Appetizer and of course I said, "Hell yes", I was on a roll.

Brushetta Garlic Bread


We split this half and half. Normally I eat one less, but not yesterday. Appy's? Bring it.

For our main course we each ordered burgers. I'm not going to lie, I toyed with the idea of ordering a Chicken Quesadilla sans Cheese. You may think this is strange but before I started to feel bad for Chickens I would ALWAYS order the Quesadilla minus the Cheese plus a side of Ranch at whatever restaurant I went to. I refrained since my judgement was clouded from the carbs i'd already eaten and went with the Veggie Burger instead.


The only thing I ate off this plate was the actually patty, tomatoes, lettuce and lotsa Ketchup. I'm not SURE but I think it may have been a regular burger. I made my Man taste it 7 times, and held our burgers side by side so I could study the insides. They looked different but mine tasted like Beef. It very well could have just been the fact that it's cooked on a grill full of beef juice but still.

I left Kelsey's feeling like cow, not because I was so stuffed I couldn't move but because I think I ate one. I needed to change the taste in my mouth, or at least that's the excuse I told myself for buying THESE


I tossed Chocolate Covered Pretzels, Chocolate Almonds, Peanut M&M's, Yogurt Covered Raisins and Rosebuds into this bag. By the time my Man had noticed my little bag and wanted to try something they were gone. You snooze you lose.

Our terminal ended up being right beside a Starbucks. Obviously I couldn't help myself, plus I figured maybe a Skinny Cinnamon Dolce Latte would help my now upset stomach. That's what I do, stomach ache? fill'er up.



We boarded our last plane and thankfully it was only an hour long. I pulled out my headphones and watched a TLC special on the Tsunami. I can't believe there's actually a place called Phuket. I'm not sure if you're supposed to pronounce it the way I do, but still what a great name.

"Where do you live?"
"Phuket."
"F*** what?"
"Phuket."
"Ugh Whatever."

It was such an interesting show, but I was getting so frustrated that the flight attendants kept interupting it to tell us what the plane was doing. I'm not blind I can see the seatbelt light go on AND I can FEEL the turbulance, no I don't care what the weather is in Regina and when you say we are descending there is always still an hour left. It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't always have to play the automated french version 2 seconds later. It took everything in my power not to jump up and yell, "If anyone on this plane headed to REGINA only speaks French and can't understand ENGLISH I'll eat my left shoe."

My parents and Bailey were waiting for us when we arrived and I was so scared Bailey had forgotten about me. At first, she just stared blankly in my direction and then THANK GOD she started to get excited. My Dad told me that the two of them were "BFF's" now and by the looks of it they were. They dropped the three of us off at home and I immediately hopped in my car and hit up Sobeys. I NEEDED Banana's for this mornings Breakfast Cookie. Bananas and TLC Kashi Crackers in hand (I was eating them on the drive home) I walked inside the Condo Castle and felt a wave of dissapointment. How could I have left it such a mess? When was the last time I dusted? or Vacuumed? I left dishes drying in the sink for 2 weeks?! That feeling past 2 seconds later (which is why I never clean) and I got to work on my Cookie AND..

Ate this with Almond Butter



Dove into THIS


Did you miss me?

And had one of THESE


With Better Butter.

Talk about a welcome home party. I took my contacts out and passed out seconds later.