Slightly Sketchy

My alarm went off at 5:20. I shut it up in a hurry; no way was I going to move around with this stomach. I slept until 6:30 and then decided I should probably wake up and shower. It had been 2 days and one Spray Tan since I washed my hair last. Not my best look.

I rolled into work fresh and clean ready for some Bfast



The smell of this cookie was making me ill but I knew as soon as I started eating it I’d be fine. This was true. It was perfect, especially since this one was drier than usual. My sister and I share an office, did you know that? I thought I’d share that before continuing on to what happened next.

I was casually eating my cookie, a little spoon to mouth action, when all of a sudden... The piece I was ABOUT to eat FELL OFF my spoon and on to the FLOOR. Noooooooo, I watched it fall in horror. Quickly I picked it up and ate it. I then looked around to see if anyone, more specifically my Sister, had saw. Nope, clear.
Three second rule right? Okay, it was more like 5. It took me 2 seconds to decide what to do. Had my Man been present for this he would have had a heart attack on the spot. I don’t care, it was just too big a piece to miss out on. If it makes anyone feel better I found a piece on my chair 15 minutes later and didn’t eat it. I considered it, but I didn’t.

I slaved away the rest of the morning crunching numbers and what not until 12 o'clock rolled around. On my way home for Lunch I stopped at Safeway and Old Foods aka Old Fashion Foods and picked up three NEW (to me) slightly sketchy products.

I bought these new wraps. If you go to their website they make outlandish claims like “America’s Healthiest Health Magazine Food Award Winner”, what kind of award is that? Awards become sketchy when there’s 5 plus words preceding it. Congratulations, you are the winner of the Almost But Not Quite Miss America Award.



Anyway, it considers this next list to be it's most redeeming qualities

- 1 Point Weight Watchers
- 100 Calories (the one I chose is 120)
- Healthy (holy elaborate)
- Contains Flax excellent source of ALA Omega 3’s
- 30% of the daily Value of Fiber
- 8 g of Fiber
- 8 g Whole Grain

The ingredient list is longer than my left leg (and my right, don't worry they’re equal) see:

Water, Vital Wheat Gluten, Whole Wheat Flour, Oat Fiber, Flax Flour, Soybean Oil, Liquid Brown Sugar, Contains Less Than 2 % Of Each Of The Following: Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Wheat Bran, Maltitol, Yeast, Yellow Corn Meal, Baking Soda, Bulgar Wheat, Wheat Protein Isolate, Oat Flakes, Barley Flakes, Rye Chops, Wheat Flakes, Potassium Sorbate & Sodium Propionate (Preservatives), Fumaric Acid, Calcium Peroxide, Cellulose Gum, Guar Gum, Calcium Sulfate, Xanthan Gum, Annatto Color, Salt, Enzymes, L-Cysteine, Niacin, Ferrous Sulfate, Thiamine Mononitrate, Riboflavin.

The strangest part is that after the first 7 everything else is apparently less than 2% of each. But that got me thinking, does that mean that there is less than/around 2% of EACH meaning all of them combined equals 56% of the wrap?! Or that 2% of the wrap is made up of the rest of the following ingredients? I was confused.

SO I called. I stumped the guy that answered, he had no idea. He said that he didn’t think that those made up 56% of the wrap but he wasn’t sure. He went online too. Not helpful since I was sure he wasn’t going to find anything I hadn’t. Then he said, “hmmm I wonder who I could put you through to, I wonder who would know that, that's a really good question, ummm I’ll put you through to Christine. Can you hold?” Sure I can. He came back a couple minutes later. Everyone was on lunch.

They can't get rid of me that easy. I'll call back. But since I don’t like to eat anything with ingredients I can’t pronounce, I guess I should get crackin on my enunciation.

I also bought THIS because it was on sale and it said all natural. I pretended like the second word, Maltitol, was normal.



Later when I googled Maltitol Wikipedia told me this, “Due to its slow absorption, excessive consumption can have a laxative effect and produce intestinal gas, bloating, and diarrhea. It is very easy for food producers to use it in vast quantities, due to its similarity to sugar, so consumers often end up ingesting far more than they could most other sugar alcohols. This means that maltitol is particularly associated with gastrointestinal upset”. Lovely.

I also bought picked up some Blow I mean Xanthan Gum



For Lunch I decided to try out my new wraps with EGGS. Gasp. Maybe I am pregnant? I haven’t eggs in months and in all my 23 years of life I’ve never CRAVED eggs. Welp, today’s a new a day. Ethically speaking I don’t want to eat the eggs but hungrily speaking I want to eat the eggs. Hunger trumps ethics. Yes, my moral compass is a little (A LOT) off, but taking a look back in time I already knew that.

I walked over to the stove to find THIS



I had left it on since around 7:00AM to 2:00PM, ooops. I apologize to all the condo castle neighbors for putting their lives and personal possessions in jeopardy.

I turned the heat up since 3 wasn't going to be hot enough and cooked TWO eggs.



I then placed them on my Wrap



And rolled it up



Jepardizing what little integrity I have was totally worth it. The egg yolk broke and ran out of the wrap making the perfect wrap dip. Totally hit the spot.

Lunch dessert was some Melon for the road


I polished this off on the drive back to work and nearly drove off the road 4 times. I have a tendency to look down and grab pieces at the worst times, bends in the road, off ramps, etc.

When I got home from work I knew I needed to some form of exercise since I skipped the gym in the AM. I thought about going to the 5:30 ride class at the gym, but had flashbacks of the last time I attended. It's WAY too hot and full in there in the evening. Too many sweaty bodies crammed into one room. Gross. I'll stick to the AM rides when there's only like 3 other people and my tan won't run off.

SO instead I decided to take Bailey for a walk and fueled up with my VERY FIRST GREEN MONSTER.



GREEN MONSTER

- Half a frozen Banana
- Half Scoop Vanilla Muscle Food
- A couple handfuls of Spinach
- Half the Magic Bullet full of Water
- 1/2 a Tsp of Xanthan Gum (KEY ingredient)

This was SO good. The Xanthan Gum made it thick enough to eat like a Milkshake. It was just like McD's, you'd have practically sworn it had feathers. I LOVED it. Why have I been waiting so long to try this? Get ready, I'm going to put Xanthan Gum in everything I can think of. No boundaries.

Now the walk. The plan was to walk as far away as we could so we would HAVE to walk all the way back. Normally I have a tendency to do a small loop and end up back at home 15 minutes later, unintentionally of course. This plan back fired in a MAYJAH way. I walked us to this field behind our neighborhood and quickly found out that the way out and in are the same. We walked the length of the field with intentions of looping around and going back home. Okay, that's a lie. We had intentions of walking the field straight to my parents house and asking my Grandparents to drive us home.

Unfortunately, we got to the end to find the dip between the road and the field FULL of water. We had to walk ALL the way back. Damn it, I stood there for a minute trying to make sure this was are only option. It was. Aside from hopping someone's fence which seemed too challenging with Bailey in my hands. By the time we got out of the field, which was full of rocks, gopher holes and strange weeds, I had to carry Bailey the rest of the way which was still a good 20 minutes. Her tongue was practically dragging on the cement.

Once we FINALLY got home, an hour and half later, it was Suppa time. In keeping with the theme of busting out of my food rut I opted OUT of Fries and had a Veggie overload instead.

I used some Orange Cauliflower


This picture doesn't do it justice, it's actually bright orange.

And chopped up some assorted Shrooms, Zucchini and Broccoli too


I tossed them in the oven at 400 for, ohhhh I don't know, 15 minutes? I'm such a bad judge of time. I also fried up some Onions in a pan with Apple Cider Vinegar and garlic.

Dumped it all into a bowl and added some Seitan



YUM



I ate this while my Man and I watched some TMZ and rearranged our flights to Phoenix. We extended our a trip a little.. YES

Before calling it a night, I called for a snack..


Flatout with PB and some Maltitol for sweetness. Earning it's name once again I noticed that the "best before" date on my Maltitol was January 2010. Damn you Old Foods.

I woke up around 12 and had this with PB..



Before I go, for those of you wondering about Seitan here's a little explanation from http://www.essortment.com/all/whatisseitan_rkgb.htm.


"Seitan (say-TAHN) is made from gluten. Gluten is the name of the insoluble protein in wheat, probably most familiar as the stuff that makes bread dough elastic. Known as “Seitan” in Japan, as “kofu” in China, and as "wheat meat" and "gluten" here in the U.S., seitan is a low fat, high protein, firm-textured meat substitute. It has been eaten in China, Japan, Korea, Russia and the Middle East for thousands of years. Gluten is often referred to in Chinese restaurants as "Buddha food", because of the claim that it was developed by pacifist, vegetarian Buddhist monks as a meat substitute. It is a food rich in tradition as well as nutrition.

As a protein source, seitan contains about 31 grams of protein per 4 ounce serving (which means it has more plant protein per serving than tofu), provides a modest amount of B vitamins and iron and contains no saturated fat or cholesterol. A 3 1/2 ounce (100 gram) serving contains 118 calories, 18% protein and less than 1% unsaturated fat. The same amount of beef has 207 calories and 32.2% protein and is high in saturated fats. As recent studies have shown, our need for protein is much lower than previously believed and any opportunity to remove saturated fats from our diet would be an excellent improvement."



The Gluten they are talking about is Vital Wheat Gluten, which you can buy at any Specialty food store like Old Fashion Foods (in Regina) or Whole Foods in the States. As far the taste goes? It reminds me of bread dough. Except not real bread dough because that doesn't taste good, more like the dough in the middle of an almost cooked piece of bread. Confused? me too. The point is it's doughy and GOOD. Try it!



Here's my Seitan Recipe..

Seitan

1 Cup Vital Wheat Gluten
3/4 Cup Water
2 Tbsp Nutritional Yeast
1 Tbsp Soy Sauce
1 Tbsp Mrs. Dash Garlic Blend (or your fav spices)

I combined the dry ingredients with the wet and made 4 "cutlets" out of it. I tossed them in a cassarole dish with 1 cup of water and placed them in the oven at 350. After 20 minutes passed I pulled them out, flipped them and put them back in for 10 more minutes. And done. Keep them in the fridge with the remaining cassarole dish water. Before having one BBQ it, fry it up in a pan and toss it on the George Forman.

Happy (Cheap Movie Night) Tuesday!!